Living your life despite all the chaos happening around you is not always easy, but many human beings manage to master that skill. In fact, many of you continue to thrive and persevere in situations where others could not.
As I travel around the world, I’m impressed by the resilience of the people I encounter. I’ve met individuals who were going through war and political strife — in addition to a number of personal and professional issues. In spite of everything, they continue to live their lives. They “keep on keeping on,” as the saying goes, and their persistence has been a constant source of inspiration to me.
Relevance of Terror Management Theory (TMG)
The idea that we can persevere through difficulties and still find meaning and worth in our lives is not new. In psychology, the concept is known as terror management theory (TMT). This theory suggests that while we all have a self-preservation instinct, it is often in conflict with the fact that death is an inevitable and unpredictable part of life.
All humans are mortal, and yet we chase “immortality” in uniquely human ways. As one expert puts it:
Literal and symbolic immortality are fundamental bases of our psychological security, but they depend on two things. First, we must maintain faith in a culturally based view of the world that provides a basis for believing in the possibilities of literal and/or symbolic immortality. Second, we must believe that we are valued contributors to this world so that we qualify for these forms of transcending our physical deaths.
As a law enforcement officer, you come face to face with physical death on a more or less regular basis. While the thought of death may produce a feeling of terror, our means of coping with this are to focus on things of meaning and value — and to cherish your personal contributions to society.
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Emphasis on Things of Value
One of the pioneers of terror management theory, Ernest Becker, suggested that “a significant function of culture is to provide successful ways to engage in death denial.” Some of the strategies we use include religion (and especially, a belief in the afterlife), national identity, cultural values and other belief systems. When we engage in “death denial,” we’re not deluding ourselves or avoiding reality. Rather, we are simply continuing to live our lives despite not having any control over the world we live in.
In times of crisis, we can hide or thrive. Successful people tend to thrive.
So, when there is civil unrest, war, political strife or other uncertainties, many people make the decision to simply continue to enjoy their lives. We go out to restaurants, attend concerts, watch movies, get married, have children and go about the business of being human. This is not to say we are unaware of the dangers around us — we are simply not paralyzed by the anxiety, fear and uncertainty of things beyond our control.
Of course, in the presence of imminent danger, we seek to preserve our lives and the lives of those around us, but we don’t let the fear and uncertainty of the world impact our well-being.
The uncertainty of police work is no different.
Policing Realities
There are few occupations where you can leave for work and not know whether you will be coming home at the end of your shift. If you focused on this uncertainty on a daily basis, you would probably never leave your home.
There are many reasons you chose your career: To serve the public, to make a difference in your community, to have a job you can be proud of as well as to earn a decent living. When you started, of course, you might not have expected some of the things you’ve had to deal with over the last few years. You may have seen civil unrest, riots, “peaceful protests,” and negativity from the public who you continue to serve despite their apathy and mostly unwarranted criticism. You certainly didn’t expect blanket demonization of you and everyone who shares your profession.
Even more concerning is the failure of political “leaders” who have acquiesced to the demands of those with the loudest voices, resulting in negative changes for the community you serve. You are not immune to the moral injury caused by misguided policies which have tied your hands and allowed wrongdoers to continue to flout the laws despite multiple arrests. Sadly, some law enforcement managers have (at best) become complacent about supporting their officers, and (at worst) begun treating their officers as if they’re the problem rather than part of the solution.
Note that I used the term “law enforcement managers” rather than “law enforcement leaders.” Leaders lead. Leaders treat their officers as assets, not liabilities. Leaders have the backs of their officers and their officers know that. Managers, on the other hand, simply go through the motions. They are risk averse — preoccupied with their own advancement rather than the growth of the officers who report to them. Sadly, they are far more concerned with career preservation than developing and protecting the next generation(s) of officers.
If you find yourself in a department where your career growth is stunted, where you know the department, the politicians and the public will always be hyper-critical of your actions, you are in a difficult situation. You may even find yourself rethinking your choice of careers.
Staying Positive and Focused
So, what motivates you to protect and serve every day? While it may sometimes be difficult to see it, you do provide a service that not everyone can. In fact, given the current recruitment challenges faced by departments across the country, you’re doing a job not many are willing to do. You continue to serve because of what you value, what you believe in. You know (or at least hope) your community is a safer place because of the work you do.
In the parlance of terror management theory, you function as a “valued contributor to this world.” To take your mind off the dangers you face every day, you may find yourself focusing on the things in your life which bring you joy and pleasure. This helps distract you from the things over which you have no control. When you truly have downtime — when you’re able to separate your work life from your personal life and reconnect with the things that matter to you — you contribute to your own self-preservation. For some of you, this may sound new, but let’s look at how you can do it.
Despite everything your department and the community may be going through, there is only so much you can do. There are things outside of your control. Think of it like this: You are like a surgeon focusing on the area that you need to operate on, nothing more. You focus on what can be taken care of at that moment. The same goes for your life.
Your main focus should be on yourself and your family. “Family first” is not just a mantra, but a way of life. Your family can be your main source of escape, so don’t underestimate the importance of maintaining connections. Family trips, outings and even simple meals together are immensely powerful ways of keeping your family unit close and cohesive.
Your hobbies and passions allow for your creativity to come through. They help you distance yourself from your job and the things outside of your control. Whether it’s fishing with your kids, working out with your friends, fixing up old cars or playing in a band, your hobbies are the ultimate way to take your mind off the realities of your work. If you don’t currently have a hobby you’re passionate about, I encourage you to find one. If you’ve set your hobbies and passions aside because you’re always too tired or just can’t find the time, I encourage you to pick them back up (or find new interests to pursue).
In times of crisis, we can hide or thrive. Successful people tend to thrive.
Keep On Keeping On
Consider again the person living their best life despite being in a war zone. They continue to go to the movies, go out to eat and celebrate life events. It is not that they don’t realize there is a war going on — rather, they refuse to let danger and fear of death change the way they live their lives. They refuse to let things outside of their control dictate their happiness and the pleasure they can get out of life.
The same goes for you. While you may not have artillery shells and rockets raining down on your community, you still face danger every single day. You also deal with departmental disfunction, unfair attitudes from community members, and lots of other external factors. Terror management theory suggests you need positive ways to cope with these realities. Bottom line: your happiness off the job cannot not dictated by these on-the-job issues.
You don’t just survive; you thrive. You continue to protect and serve. You “keep on keeping on,” sweeping the darkness and negativity aside and letting in the light so you can find true happiness and enjoyment in your life.
Until next time, stay safe.
